Today I adamantly refuse any self-reflection.
I'm just another curious girl in search of fun and choice packets of information.

As you know, I don't usually include links, but here are 2 I felt compelled to pass along:

Interesting Event

Sex Party - Read the Release Form!


Was sent (for the umpteenth time) the "friendship survey" below, and I have filled it out.
I've sent it to one or two people out there, thank you very much for responding.
See, you know quite a bit about me. But there's not a lot I know about you.

If you wish to, feed the junkie, please? Humor my inner teen?
Copy and Paste questions, send me your answers?
It would be nice to know a little bit more about who I'm talking to.

1.WHAT IS YOUR CURRENT LIVING ARRANGEMENT?
Co-op styles in the Blue House full of cool and mellow
fellows; 3 boys/3 girls; very yin-yang.

2. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW? The early diary of
Anais Nin, Demian by Hermann Hesse (re-reading), Marya
by Joyce Carol Oates

3. WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? Blood from my slit
wrists.

4. FAVORITE BOARD GAME? Scrabble

5. FAVORITE MAGAZINE? Details, Maxim, Lucky, Tight

6a. FAVORITE SMELLS? Gardenias, skunky dank, Chanel
Allure for Men, Nag champa

6b. LEAST FAVORITE SMELLS? Puke, Cilantro, patchouli
oil

7. FAVORITE SOUND?
Groans/Moans/Gasps of pleasure, zippers unzipping,
music in the bedroom, laughter in the hall

8. WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD? Self-loathing,
betrayal, neglect, being marginalized, sleeping in a
bed next to someone who doesn't want to touch you,
paranoia that my parents are waiting for me in their
van in my driveway at any given time.

9. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU WAKE
UP IN THE MORNING?

Do I have enough time to ***?

10. FAVORITE COLOR? Red

11. HOW MANY RINGS BEFORE YOU ANSWER THE PHONE? 2

12. FUTURE CHILD'S NAME: Anais, Ramona (I don't know
what else yet)

13. WHAT IS MOST IMPORTANT IN LIFE? Experience,
Passion, Love, Sleep, Pleasure

14. FAVORITE FOODS? Mangoes, Triple Chocolate Hara
Kiri (Souffle, Mousse and Ice cream), Creme Brulee,
Pizza, Sushi, Eggs+Rice+Ketchup, Chicken and Waffles

15. CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA? Chocolate.
There's really nothing good about vanilla unless it's
vanilla Torani in steamed milk.

16. DO YOU LIKE TO DRIVE FAST? Yes.

17. DO YOU SLEEP WITH A STUFFED ANIMAL? No, but I do
sleep with 2 5 ft. body pillows which sandwich me.

18. STORMS - COOL OR SCARY? Cool and scary.

19. WHAT TYPE WAS YOUR FIRST CAR? Mercedes Benz 300 SD

20. IF YOU COULD MEET ONE PERSON DEAD OR ALIVE? Anais
Nin

21. FAVORITE ALCOHOLIC DRINK? Raspberry Stoli and 7-up

22. WHAT IS YOUR ZODIAC SIGN? Aquarius

23. DO YOU EAT THE STEMS OF BROCCOLI? No.

24. IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY JOB YOU WANTED, WHAT WOULD
IT BE?
Professional Muse and Dinner-Party Organizer,
Documenter of Life, Gatekeeper of the Universe

25. IF YOU COULD DYE YOUR HAIR ANY COLOR?
Red and Orange and Yellow like the Dark Phoenix that
Dr. Jean Grey turns into in X-men, or a beautiful
green like Miriya Sterling from Robotech.

26. EVER BEEN IN LOVE? Mmmm....Yes

27. IS THIS GLASS HALF EMPTY OR HALF FULL?
I refuse to answer this insipid question.
I am a cynical dreamer.

28. FAVORITE MOVIES? 9.5 weeks
adventures of fong sai yuk
Akira
Barbarella
Belle du Jour
bitter moon
blue velvet
Camille Claudel
children of the lost city
cruel intentions II
cry baby
Damage
desperate living
Dona Flor y Sus Dos Maridos
easy rider
Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
Firestarter
grease
henry and june
Highlander (first one only)
In the Realm of the Senses
indochine
Kentucky Fried Movie
la femme nikita
leaving las vegas
Macross
madame x
man bites dog
Microcosmos
mommie dearest
moonstruck
my own private idaho
mystic pizza
naked lunch
Nights of Cabiria
of human bondage
Orlando
the best intentions
The Company of Wolves
The Seven Samurai
tokyo decadence
Umbrellas of Cherbourg
valley of the dolls
whatever happened to baby jane?
who's afraid of virginia woolf
wild at heart
wild things

29. DO YOU TYPE WITH YOUR FINGERS ON THE RIGHT KEYS?
Mostly

30. WHAT'S UNDER YOUR BED? Nothing.

31. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE NUMBER? 13

32. FAVORITE SPORT TO WATCH?
Playground basketball (watching men play shirts vs.
SKINS), Hockey, and High School football.

33. SAY ONE NICE THING ABOUT THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS
TO YOU?
Don't orbit too far from me.

34. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE MUSIC OF THE MOMENT?
Girl Boy Song - Aphex Twin
Everybody Here Wants You - Jeff Buckley

35. IF YOU COULD INVENT A DEVICE TO MAKE YOUR LIFE
BETTER, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
Teleportation device

36. IF YOU COULD KIDNAP SOMEONE AND HYPNOTIZE THEM
INTO BEING YOUR BEST FRIEND, WHO WOULD IT BE?

In order of obsession:

Bjork
Tim Burton
Prince
Johnny Depp
Natalie Portman
Kahimi Karie
Parker Posey
Christina Ricci

37. Favorite Fetish:

SHOES. I'd spend all my money on shoes, if I didn't have a student loan, rent, bills and habits to support.

Do you mind if we don't talk about the other night? I know you want to hear about it, hear what Hugo has said or done. Basically he hasn't said a thing. No evidence of guilt, shame or whatever.
I think he just thinks it's all good, that he's normal. I won't say it's right, or that it's his fault or my fault. I won't play victim here. I know what I'm doing, and how sad and wrong it seems.

I don't want to talk about it or write about it anymore.
I just want the memory to disappear.